Journals15
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go=somewhere+nicelet's(go)
1 min read
I just wanted something to cover up my last gloomy entry.
I want to dance. (:
:butterflytwo:
~b
I want to dance. (:
:butterflytwo:~b
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my head doesn't feel like home
2 min read
There is nothing here. Nothing for me.
Breathing seems like a chore, food doesn't have any flavor, I can feel my heart pumping through my chest, and my throat is always demanding more and more water.
I left my cellphone home, drove aimlessly for +4 hours straight, made it to another city and back, thinking, listening to the same 34 songs form my favorite playlist, silently waiting on an explanation for the nothingness of nothing. Freedom made me feel slightly high.
My legs started hurting (feeling numb) and I parked in the middle of nowhere, lights off, music off, staring ahead. The best ideas always come at night, under the stars. I even started counting them. There, it got pretty damn late, so I drove home.
So, all in all, life is.. I don't know what life is like.
And I haven't taken those pills since November. Which is starting to feel weird. Is this how it feels to be me, without alterations? Very fucking depressing, but I prefer to be authentic, even if it alienates everyone else. Not like there's anyone here anyway.
Breathing seems like a chore, food doesn't have any flavor, I can feel my heart pumping through my chest, and my throat is always demanding more and more water.
I left my cellphone home, drove aimlessly for +4 hours straight, made it to another city and back, thinking, listening to the same 34 songs form my favorite playlist, silently waiting on an explanation for the nothingness of nothing. Freedom made me feel slightly high.
My legs started hurting (feeling numb) and I parked in the middle of nowhere, lights off, music off, staring ahead. The best ideas always come at night, under the stars. I even started counting them. There, it got pretty damn late, so I drove home.
So, all in all, life is.. I don't know what life is like.
And I haven't taken those pills since November. Which is starting to feel weird. Is this how it feels to be me, without alterations? Very fucking depressing, but I prefer to be authentic, even if it alienates everyone else. Not like there's anyone here anyway.
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contemplating combustion
1 min read
when i'm with him i feel so...nice. healthy, sane, pretty, happy.
he says he brings some madness into my world, and i don't know and honestly don't care what it is he does, but i like it.
~~~~~~~~~~~
sometimes i just want to vanish in the air and stop all feeling on its tracks, or take a bath and drown in sweet lily perfumed soap and feel my lungs explode in liquid molecules and never wake up.
b, you are way too needy. stop it.
stop it.
stop it.
fucking stop.
"the killer in me is the killer in you
i send a smile over to you" ++ :butterflytwo:
he says he brings some madness into my world, and i don't know and honestly don't care what it is he does, but i like it.
~~~~~~~~~~~
sometimes i just want to vanish in the air and stop all feeling on its tracks, or take a bath and drown in sweet lily perfumed soap and feel my lungs explode in liquid molecules and never wake up.
b, you are way too needy. stop it.
stop it.
stop it.
fucking stop.
"the killer in me is the killer in you
i send a smile over to you" ++ :butterflytwo:
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I used to know what I was talking about
1 min read
I met the most wonderful person today. Or rather, yesterday. I dislike being awake after midnight.
__I may be some sort of crazy. We may be some sort of crazy. But I'll swear on everything I have and more.____you make the sound of pulling heaven down,,,
I don't get the point of writing these journals.
Go read some of YouInventedMe 's amazing poetry.
It's good for you.
Honestly.
but what IS time??? UHHHH!
Oh, and now I have a plan. Simple, but I didn't notice it before. It's gonna be tough following it through, but it'll be worth it.
__I may be some sort of crazy. We may be some sort of crazy. But I'll swear on everything I have and more.____you make the sound of pulling heaven down,,,
I don't get the point of writing these journals.
Go read some of YouInventedMe 's amazing poetry.
It's good for you.
Honestly.
but what IS time??? UHHHH!
Oh, and now I have a plan. Simple, but I didn't notice it before. It's gonna be tough following it through, but it'll be worth it.
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b wants to stop existing...
1 min read
...if only for a while
Dealing with eds and hating every fucking minute of them.
Right now, the only thing I believe in is gravity.
no, not in a good mood. but then again, p makes me feel better.
p can be anything from prozac to pentagons, unless you know what it really means.
The cat said something along the lines of "if it doesn't matter where you're going, then it doesn't matter which way you go." Makes me wonder...
=someone call the ambulance, there's gonna be an accident=
p may also stand for Placebo. The irony. Funny little thing.
Dealing with eds and hating every fucking minute of them.
Right now, the only thing I believe in is gravity.
no, not in a good mood. but then again, p makes me feel better.
p can be anything from prozac to pentagons, unless you know what it really means.
The cat said something along the lines of "if it doesn't matter where you're going, then it doesn't matter which way you go." Makes me wonder...
=someone call the ambulance, there's gonna be an accident=
p may also stand for Placebo. The irony. Funny little thing.
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